Let’s be honest—too many men think great sex is all about penetration. A few minutes of kissing, some hurried touching, and then straight to the main event.
But if you really want to blow a woman’s mind, you need to think about the entire experience—before, during, and after.
Sex isn’t just physical. It’s emotional, psychological, and, at its best, deeply intimate. And yet, so many men rush through the most important parts.
They get caught up in their own pleasure, missing all the little things that make the difference between “just okay” and unforgettable.
So, if you want to step up your game and be the kind of lover she craves, here’s what you need to know.
Foreplay: The Part You’re Probably Rushing (And Why You Shouldn’t)
Most men see foreplay as something to get through, rather than something to enjoy. That’s the first big mistake.
For women, arousal doesn’t happen instantly. It builds. And the longer the build-up, the more intense the release. The difference between good and great sex? The time and attention given before penetration even starts.
What Actually Works in Foreplay?
Forget the idea that a few kisses and a quick touch will get her where she needs to be. Women’s bodies respond best when they’re given time to warm up.
That means taking things slow, paying attention, and making sure she’s fully into it before going further.
Here’s how to do it right:
Kissing With Intention
Not just pecking at her lips or forcing your tongue in her mouth. Slow, deep kisses. Teasing her lower lip. Letting your breath linger just near hers before meeting again.
Kissing should make her want more, not just be a step before the next thing.
Non-Genital Touching
So many guys go straight for the obvious areas—breasts, butt, between her legs. But the real magic happens in the spaces between.
Run your fingers over her arms, along her sides, up her inner thighs without immediately touching her where she expects it. Let the anticipation build.
Using Your Words
Compliment her, but make it personal. Tell her how good she smells, how soft her skin is, how much you love hearing her breathe heavier when you touch her a certain way.
Words can be just as powerful as touch when done right.
Oral Done Well
If you’re going down on her, do it because you want to, not because you think you have to. Use your tongue and your fingers. Pay attention to how her body reacts. Stay consistent when she’s close instead of switching it up at the worst moment.
A woman who’s fully turned on before penetration will enjoy the experience way more—and will probably want it more often.
The Main Event: What Most Men Miss
Now, let’s talk about sex itself.
A lot of guys get too caught up in their pleasure. They find a rhythm that feels good for them, and they stick with it—without thinking about what she needs.
The Most Common Mistakes Men Make
If you recognize yourself in any of these, don’t panic—just do better.
The One-Speed Wonder
Going the exact same speed and depth the entire time is not the move. Mix it up. Slow, deep thrusts, then faster shallow ones. Change angles. Make it feel like something more than just an in-and-out motion.
Ignoring the Clitoris
Only about 18% of women orgasm from penetration alone. If you’re only relying on that, she’s probably not finishing. Add in fingers, toys, or at the very least, your own body by grinding against her in a way that stimulates more than just one area.
Silent Mode
No noise, no reaction, no words? That’s a vibe killer. A little moaning, whispering what you love about her, or even just heavy breathing can make the experience way
How to Make Penetration Better for Her
Instead of thinking of sex as a performance, start treating it like an intimate conversation between your bodies.
Pace and Depth Matter
Switching between slow, deep thrusts and faster, shallow ones keeps things exciting. Experiment with different angles to find what makes her react the most.
Letting Her Take Control
Some of the most intense moments happen when she’s in charge of the pace. If she’s on top, let her move how she wants instead of trying to thrust against her rhythm.
Bringing in Toys
Some men feel intimidated by them, but trust me—they’re not competition, they’re allies. Thrusting vibrators can add an entirely new dimension to pleasure, whether during solo time or together.
Great sex isn’t about lasting forever. It’s about making every moment count.
Aftercare: The Step That Separates the Good from the Great
So, let’s say you’ve both had an amazing time (and hopefully, she finished too). What happens next?
If your first instinct is to roll over, grab your phone, or pass out immediately—you’re missing a huge opportunity to make her feel truly satisfied.
Sex is vulnerable. It’s intimate. And what happens after can be just as important as what happens during.
What Good Aftercare Looks Like
- Physical Touch – Even just lying next to her with an arm draped over her waist makes her feel wanted beyond just the act itself.
- Verbal Reassurance – A simple “That was amazing” or telling her how sexy she looked goes a long way. Real compliments, not just a generic “That was hot.”
- Presence – Some women like talking after sex. Others just want to lay there in the warmth of the moment. Pay attention to what she wants, and be there for it.
A guy who actually cares about aftercare is a guy she’s going to think about long after the night is over.
Why Effort Makes All the Difference
At the end of the day, great sex isn’t just about technique. It’s about presence. It’s about paying attention. It’s about caring whether or not she’s enjoying herself as much as you are.
When you start treating sex as an experience rather than just an act, it transforms everything.
- Foreplay isn’t something to rush—it’s part of sex.
- Penetration isn’t the only thing that matters—pleasure is bigger than that.
- Aftercare isn’t just a bonus—it’s what makes her feel safe and wanted.
The men who get this? They’re the ones women remember.
Put in the effort, slow down, and actually enjoy every part of the process. When you do? She will notice. And she will want more.
